I Want To Come Home For Christmas
by brighteyes87
Summary: After 8 years apart, can Christmas bring them back together? One Shot


It's been years since I've written anything but this had been playing on my mind so I thought I would write it down and post a little Christmas one shot...

 _I Want to Come Home For Christmas_

 **Then**

His fingers drummed the tile counter top as he watched her from across the room. He'd been mildly fascinated with her since Jasper introduced her as his girlfriend's roommate one day just before the semester started. It had been a long practice and coach had made them run bases and stairs to begin their conditioning so they would be in prime shape once the baseball season started. She hid behind her long dark hair but at the time he had been focused on her long legs, exposed by her tiny shorts. She was natural and shy and when he reached out to take her hand, he noted how small she was. Even then he could barely manage a mumbled "hi" before he stalked off, unsure what had suddenly happened to him. Things only got worse when she stumbled into his statistics class, a faint smile on her lips and a rosy blush on her cheeks as they made eye contact.

"You're making me anxious dude."

His fingers stilled, startled out of his trance by his best friend and teammate.

"Just go over and talk to her, pretty sure she won't bite… unless you want her to." Emmet's eyebrows shot up suggestively as he slapped Edward's shoulder hard and hightailed it out of the kitchen, he knew better than to stick around after a comment like that about her.

He glanced back her way. She was standing with Jasper and Alice which gave him an excuse to go over, but that didn't fix his current predicament: she always rendered him speechless. And the LAST thing Edward Cullen wanted to be to her was a mute, baseball playing freak.

Sighing, he turned his back to them and picked up the red solo cup. He took a big pull of the liquid, wincing lightly as the burn trailed down his throat.

"Now or never Cullen," he mumbled under his breath, slamming the cup down and turning in one quick movement.

 **Now**

"I heard he's coming home for Christmas."

Bella punched at the dough between her fingers. Leave it to Alice to bring him up.

"Of course he is, he finally has everything he's ever wanted."

It came out more bitter than she expected. In truth, she didn't wish him any ill will. Their parting five years ago, while hard, had been the right decision. That didn't make the pain go away. Still, when he was drafted by the Arizona Diamondbacks at the end of his senior year and sent to their class A in Chicago, she knew she had to let him go. He was too talented to be tied down to his younger girlfriend in California with dreams of her own that still needed to be realized. He told her they could make it work, she had a year left of college and could move in with him when she was finished. Many of the guys had their girlfriends with them and it would be so easy for her to come and be with him once she was finished. She wanted to be with him, but not at the expense of her own dreams. And yes, he was her dream, but there were so many other things she wanted and while they had spoken of them before, it was different now that his were in sight. She didn't fault him for that, and she didn't think him to be cruel or thoughtless, it was just hard to imagine what she would be doing in a year when it was her time. She loved him, so much, but she also knew she would grow to resent him if she didn't go after what she wanted. So, she chose herself, and broke them both.

"I don't think that's true."

"It doesn't really matter anymore."

 **Then**

It never got old to him and while he knew their relationship was still young, he hoped that the feeling she gave him never went away. His hand itched to take hers as they drove twenty minutes south to San Jose but he kept both hands on the wheel warring with himself over his plans. Finals were over and they had a few days to spend together before campus closed for the holiday break and she went back to Washington and he visited with his family in Chicago. He dreaded this time apart because he craved her presence. It had only been three months but she was quickly becoming his whole world; a light where there had once just been darkness.

"I can't believe you've lived here for two years and haven't once been to Christmas in the Park." She teased him. "I knew the moment I accepted my admission that I was going to go."

"That's because you research the fuck out of everything," he grinned, glancing at her momentarily as she broke him out of his reverie. "Besides, I'm not sure I'd want to go with anyone other than you."

She blushed and looked out the window.

"I actually have a surprise for you." He hedged, and he knew she could likely hear the apprehension in his voice.

"Oh?" she smiled, turning back to face him.

"I might have had some help in the form of your roommate, and I realize I probably should have asked if you were okay with it, but I promise to be on my best behavior."

"What's the surprise?"

"I knew this would be the last chance we would have to be together until we get back to school from the break in January… I rented a room at the Fairmont and made dinner reservations. We haven't seen each other much between finals and my practices… I just wanted to be alone with you." She could see his ears had turned pink and she reached over and took his hand in hers.

"It's perfect."

His smile was blinding.

 **Now**

She wiped a few errant tears from her cheeks as she stood outside on her balcony. She loved her apartment in San Francisco and she seldom could believe that she actually was able to afford the place. She had worked hard though, even when she felt her world had come apart at the seams her senior year at Stanford when he was no longer there but she felt him everywhere. She threw herself into her books and spent her free time prepping for the LSAT. Now, she was 30, working for a major tech company's in-house counsel and doing well for herself. But she still felt lost. She had everything she had been working for and yet she was so aware of her loneliness.

She followed his career for a while, until it hurt too much. She knew that he never actually made it to Arizona, he had been traded as a top prospect to the Philadelphia Philies. He'd been there ever since. She once came across a picture of him smiling with a beautiful blonde on his arm. She had wanted to cry but she didn't. He was only doing what she had asked of him: to move on, to be happy. College love wasn't always the be all end all.

She stopped following baseball after that.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she turned to look at Alice through the glass doors, she was occupied rolling out the cookie dough.

"Hello?"

"Bella, baby, your father and I get into SFO at 2 tomorrow. Are you sure you want to pick us up? We can always get an Umber if you want."

"Uber mom," she chuckled, "and yes, I will be there to pick you up. I haven't seen you both in months, I'm looking forward to it."

"Alright, if you insist. Love you baby, we'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you too."

The line went dead and she took a steadying breath in before walking back into the kitchen to join her best friend.

 **Then**

Her arms were unsteady as she tried to balance on the ice. While he promised he wouldn't let her fall she laughed at him telling him not to make promises he couldn't keep. She knew the double meaning, and she was certain that he did as well. It didn't matter though, she had already completely fallen for him and, she suspected, he had for her as well. The thought sent a delicious chill down her spine that she knew wasn't from the cold ice on her butt as he stood over her chuckling and offering her a hand up.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"But you look so cute when you concentrate."

"How are you so good at this?" She asked looking up at him. While he always towered over her, the extra height his skates gave him was unreal.

"Even though every coach I've ever had hates it, it's kind of a family tradition to go ice skating at Millennium Park," he wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her and pushed a few strands of hair from her face with his other hand. "My mom loves skating and while my dad is truly horrible at it, he does it because it makes her so happy."

"Does it make you happy?"

He grinned, cupping her cheek, "Yeah, it does, it reminds me of home."

"It makes me happy too."

 **Now**

The Christmas season was always the hardest. Try as she might to get over him, even when she thought she had, memories of their Christmas traditions always seemed to flood her memories. This year would be particularly hard as it would be the first year since moving to California that her family would be visiting her. And they, of course, wanted to do all the Christmasy things that she had always gushed about. The problem was, since her split with Edward, she avoided those things like the plagues.

"I told Jasper we'd meet him for drinks around 7, he said the dinner reservations were for 8:30."

"Sound perfect."

"And Bella," Alice paused as she opened the door to head home and get ready.

"Hmm?"

"Wear the dress that I hung in your closet please," She chucked and danced out the door.

"Some things never change."

 **Then**

"So, what other traditions do you share with your family?" Bella asked while they waited for their meals. She wanted to picture the different things her boyfriend would be doing while they were apart, mostly because she hoped it would temper the ache she felt at the idea of not seeing him.

"We generally go for a nice dinner after we go skating. Kate and my mom will bake huge batches of cookies for Christmas dinner when the entire family comes together. My mom is a killer cook, which I know you'll learn soon, and she insists on hosting our family of 25 plus for Christmas dinner." She thrilled at the mention of their future and her meeting his family. "I have a few friends who don't have a large family so they come with their parents as well. My mom really goes all out."

"That sounds amazing. Your parents sound amazing."

"They are… they are also really excited to meet you."

"Will they visit a lot once the season starts?"

He nodded and reached across the table to take her hand in his. "They do. It seems weird to some people but they would do the same for Kate."

"I think it's great that you have such a close family."

"What about you? What do you do with your family?"

She shifted closer to him and twined their fingers together. "My dad and I go every year to chop down our own tree. Mom and I bake. And every Christmas eve we all open on present to tide us over. I know that stems from be being a brat when I was too young to wait but now it would feel weird if we didn't."

"I can just imagine you, as a kid, hair all curly begging."

"Because you are the poster child for patience," she laughed.

 **Now**

The Elbo Room was pretty light on customers, but that probably because it was still fairly early. She glanced around taking stock and realizing that Alice and Jasper had still not arrived.

"The usual?"

She nodded as she took a seat at the bar, pulling out her phone and placing it face up so she could see if someone was calling her.

"Where's the rest of the crew?" Jacob, the bartender, asked as he placed her drink down in front of her.

"Oh, you know Alice, she's probably still trying on outfits." He laughed at that and leaned on the back of the bar across from her. "I'm pretty sure that's why Jasper always makes reservations an hour and a half after we are supposed to meet for drinks."

"Any plans for Christmas this year?"

"My mom and dad are flying in tomorrow for a week. It should be nice, they haven't been here for Christmas before so it will fall on me to show them around. How about you?"

"I couldn't get off work this year for any long period of time so Riley asked me to come home with him to spend the holiday with his family… Looks like I'll be leaving tomorrow for Sacramento and I'll be back a few days before New Years to help get the bar ready."

"It's gotten serious then?" She smiled.

"Last week I thought we were going to break up. We were fighting over something completely stupid. He works a lot and it's one of the things I love most about him, that he's so passionate about what he does and our schedules just suck… It's so hard to be in a relationship with someone who works 60 hours a week and I work nights. I can't even tell you what started the fight either… I just know I was about to walk out the door when he said he loved me."

Bella tore at the napkin in front of her while Jacob spoke. She wanted to ask him how he knew that love would be enough, but as she looked up at him, she saw him studying here.

"I lied to you guys you know?" He started and she wrinkled her forehead. "About how long I've known Riley… We knew each other in high school. At the time, neither of our parents knew about our sexuality and when we went off to college we tried to make it work but it was just too hard… He was on the east coast, I was in Los Angeles… The feelings were all there but I could tell he was staying up late, he was doing everything he could to spend time talking to me and I knew he would be happier without all that. So, I ended it."

"But you still loved him."

"Yeah, I mean, as much as you can when you're still trying to figure out who you are… But the ache was always there. When we reconnected a few months ago I knew that it was either going to work or it wasn't… I didn't think it was, and then he said he loved me, that he always had, and he likely always would. All those years apart meant nothing…"

 **Then**

"I'm going to carry you over the threshold." He laughed as he held her back while he slipped the key into the door to open it.

"That's for married couples you doof."

"Nope, don't care." He grinned as the green light flashed and he opened the door, propping it open with his foot before he reached down and lifted her up into his arms while she giggled, her arms going around his neck.

"You're crazy."

"Yeah, crazy about you."

He slowly set her back on the floor, his arms still wrapped around her waist. The air shifted and suddenly they grew serious.

"Bella… I…"

She cut him off with her lips against his, she knew what he was going to say and while she wanted to hear the words, she wanted him more. She had never been one of those girls who felt a need for overly romantic displays. She just knew that after three months with him, she wanted nothing more than to be with him completely. Her hands moved down his chest, desperately trying to undo each button as efficiently as possible. It wasn't until she reached his pants did his brain catch up with his passion.

"Wait." He mumbled, pulling back and reaching down to place his hands on hers.

"I don't want to wait."

"Bella, I need to tell you something."

"Don't say something you don't yet mean… I'm not saying you won't mean it later but I'm going to sleep with you regardless Edward." Her heart was pounding. Of course she loved him, she wouldn't be sleeping with him if she didn't but she knew how long it could take a man's heart to catch up and she didn't want him to think she needed to hear those words for this night to continue.

"But I do mean them. Bella, I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you."

"I love you too."

 **Now**

"I'm sorry we're late."

"She couldn't decide what to wear… again." Jasper smiled rolling his eyes as she slapped his shoulder playfully.

"As if you weren't on the phone for twenty minutes once I was ready to go! It takes two to tango mister!"

"I kind of figured… really it's no big deal. Jake here kept me company." She smiled before taking a sip of her drink, the bourbon warming her stomach.

Jasper's phone lit up and he held his finger out to excuse himself while he stepped away to take the call.

"That boy has been on his phone all evening," Alice complained as she picked up the drink Jake dropped off.

"I'm sure he has his reasons…"

They sat in silence for a moment, neither noticing that Jasper had taken his seat back next to his girlfriend.

"I have a question…" Alice hedged, catching Bella's eyes. "If he did come back, if he was here, what would you do?"

Bella was silent for a while, her hand on her drink as she looked down. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it, but she truly figured it was a lost cause. The first year after their break up he had tried to reach out to her multiple times but knowing she needed to break it off, she never replied. He continued to occasionally attempt to communicate with her, but it had been five years since she had last heard from him… He left a drunk voicemail on her phone saying he missed her, he loved her but she was killing him and that he hated her at the same time for tossing him away.

"I don't know and frankly Alice, I don't think it matters… He hates me."

"That's not true."

She gasped and spun around at the deep voice that interrupted their conversation.

 **Then**

"Had I known you had been planning a sleepover I would have had Alice back my present for you in my bag." Bella's head laid on his bare chest, her fingers tracing the planes of his body as he held her tighter, his nose buried in her hair.

"I don't need a present, you're the best thing I've ever gotten for Christmas and you're all I will ever need. Forever. You're my Christmas magic."

"And you're cheesy."

"But you love me."

"I do. Always."

She leaned up and kissed his lips and they quickly proceeded to go for round two, both wondering why they waited so long.

 **Now**

Her hands trembled as he stepped closer. He was just as beautiful as she remembered.

"I…" She started as he reached down and took her hand in his.

"Wait… Let me say something first." She nodded and looked up at him and watched as he ran his free hand through his hair, a nervous tick she was pleased to see he hadn't lost. "I was mad at you but I've never hated you. We were stupid and young and looking back in it all, I always just assumed you'd follow me… and I never asked you what you wanted. I was selfish and I wanted to keep you with me always…"

"Edward…"

"No wait, let me finish and then you can say what you need to say." He pleaded as he watched her nod. "That night, when I left that voicemail, I wanted to hurt you because I felt like you hurt me… But I realized that we needed this time apart, mostly because you needed to become the brilliant person you have become and I needed to give you space to become that person."

He took a deep breath. "I didn't think about what you wanted. I only thought about what I wanted. Even when we were together, I made plans without telling you and expected you to just go along with it… Even down to our first New Years together.

 **Then**

"I have another present for you," he murmured into her hair as they laid tangled up together.

"You better not have spent any more money… This has been more than enough Edward… This small staycation for a day."

He laughed and sat up, reached over to the nightstand and pulling out an envelope he stashed there when she had gotten up to freshen up after their third round.

"It's just money Bella, but this is just a selfish gift then for me."

He handed her the envelope and she sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover her bare chest. Her fingers made quick work of the paper and she pulled out the card and she read the details of the printed paper enclosed inside of it.

"Chicago? On December 27th?" She cocked her head to the side and looked at him with confused eyes.

"I want you with me on New Year's. I want you to meet my family and I want to bring in the new year doing what I want to do all year long, kissing you."

"Edward this is a lot of money."

"It's not about the money, love… I just want to be with you and my family wants to meet you and I just can't imagine spending a whole month away from you, a week at Thanksgiving felt like it was too much."

She grinned and leaned into him… "I'll have to see what I can do to convince my mom and dad to let me go."

 **Now**

"I don't regret that trip Edward. New Years with you… it was amazing, as was every moment we spent together."

"But I didn't let you choose. I took away your voice, it was always, from the get go, what I wanted to do. I know that now, I see that now and I want to change that."

"How?"

"I'm moving to San Francisco. Everything will be on your terms Bella. If you want to just be friends we can just be friends… But I need you in my life. I want to come home and where you are, that's home."

"How can you just, move?"

"My contract was up after this last season. I told my agent that I wanted to go to San Francisco and to make it happen. It just so happened that they were desperate for an outfielder… but even if I couldn't get that move, I wasn't going to play anymore. I was going to move here and I was going to try to see if we could find a way to be together."

"You're crazy you know that?" She said, her eyes meeting his. Even after all these years, his sage green eyes still captivated her.

"My heart belongs to you Bella, it always has, and these last 8 years have been torture. I'm alive and I'm active but a huge part of me is gone because I left it with you. I left my heart with you and I don't want it back because it will always belong to you but I'm wondering if maybe, you left your heart with me?"

"It's Christmas Edward…"

"I know," he replied cautiously taking a step closer to her as she stood up, one hand taking purchase on her waist while he waited for a sign from her.

"And somehow you always manage to give me the best gift."

He smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

 **Later**

She smiled as they walked hand in hand through the park stopping at various displays that caught their attention. The last two years had been challenging to say the least. There were moments when she wanted to kill him, and vice versa but they always found a way to come back together. But she loved moments like this.

"I think this is my favorite tradition," he smiled as they stopped under the fake snow.

"More than ice skating in Chicago?"

"That depends…"

"On what?" She smiled up at him, reaching up briefly to brush some of the foam from his hair.

"On this." He grinned before dropping to a knee in front of her, her left hand in his as her eyes filled with tears.

"I love you. I always have. I've lived too many years without you and I can't imagine every going back to that. You are my world. And I want to build a life together, us against the world, equal partners. I want to keep making new traditions with you. I want to be there to support you as you work towards your goals and I want to be there to celebrate your achievements. I want to have a family with you and grow old with you. Marry me Bella?

"Of course," she smiled, tears wetting her cheeks as he slipped the ring on her finger before standing up to kiss her thoroughly, his fingers brushing her tears away at the same time.

"I love you," she responded as they parted, a few onlookers clapping and wishing them congratulations.

"I love you too, always."


End file.
